


baby, you're not alone, cause you're here with me

by SuchASeeweedBrain



Series: Roswell Prompt Advent 2019 [8]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex POV, Alex-centric, Background Miluca - Freeform, Happy Malex Ending, M/M, Not Miluca friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 03:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchASeeweedBrain/pseuds/SuchASeeweedBrain
Summary: Five times Alex thinks he'll be alone for the holidays and he's wrong
Relationships: Alex Manes & Isobel Evans, Alex Manes & Kyle Valenti, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Roswell Prompt Advent 2019 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560502
Comments: 30
Kudos: 164





	baby, you're not alone, cause you're here with me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the first two parts of this months ago, and I finished it this week, because I liked it, so I wanted to post it.  
> Title is from Not Alone, by Darren Criss (and also from A Very Potter Musical) I'm inspirationless okay XD
> 
> This is pretty salty, especially the first two parts.

  1. **2019 Kyle**



It was the holidays after the whole Caufield/ Max dying, Rosa being resurrected debacle. With his father in a coma in the hospital, his brothers off to god knows where doing god knows what, Maria unable to look him in the eye as she held Michael’s hand, Kyle working and Liz busy with her newly resurrected sister, Alex was expecting to just spend Christmas holed up alone in his cabin, eating shitty food from a can and getting drunk on the bottle of wine Isobel had given him for… well, he wasn’t sure.

In a fit of absolute insanity he’d bought Buffy a little Christmas hat. She was now laying in front of the fire, the hat a little crooked as she had her head resting on her paws. She looked like she was humouring him. He appreciated it. Alex had taken off his own hat about an hour ago after he realized it was becoming too warm in the cabin to keep it on. He had the sleeves of his old, grey Henley pushed up to his elbows, the plain black sweatpants he was wearing were actually too big for him, but he still wore them because they were comfortable. One pant leg was tied in a knot as his prosthetic was in his bedroom somewhere, his crutches leaning against the side of the couch.

He was glad he’d replaced the ancient television Jim had had there with a nicer, newer model, one that actually had colour images. He was watching some sort of shitty Hallmark Christmas movie. The kind that had the same plot as about fifteen other Christmas movies except with different actors.

Alex was only half paying attention, maybe twenty five percent. He leaned forward to grab his glass and take another sip of the wine and made a face. It was probably an expensive bottle, but Alex had never been much of a wine drinker, overseas they drank beer or hard liquor, so he’d kind of automatically developed a taste for that.

Plus, wine gave him killer hangovers.

He was feeling a little masochistic, sue him.

He tried to force himself not to think about Michael and Maria, probably having a nice, candlelit dinner, just the two of them. Maybe Michael would cook, maybe Maria would make her special holiday eggnog that never failed to wipe the floor with Alex. She’d smile, skin looking radiant in the candlelight, he’d take her hand-

The sound of a car outside had him snap from his dangerous line of thought and reach for a gun he didn’t have on his hip. Fuck. Buffy lifted up her head and when there was the sound of a car door opening and closing, she got up and headed towards Alex, her nails scratching over the wooden floor. She made a low “woof” kind of sound. As if she was saying, just give me the word, I’ll get them. God he loved that dog.

Alex pulled the drawer under the coffee table open and took his Beretta M9 from the drawer along with the clip, loading it with quick, efficient movements. Shit, this wasn’t going to be smooth. He tucked the gun in the back of his sweatpants, praying they wouldn’t fall down with it. He grabbed his crutches and moved towards the front door. He set his left crutch against the wall. He took the gun out with his left hand and held it out of view as he peeked through the glass. It was a good thing he could shoot about as well with his left hand as his right.

The car was a black SUV, he he’d only heard one door, so one person. He could-

‘Alex?’ Alex lowered the gun automatically.

‘ _Kyle_?’ Alex asked, pulling the door open. Kyle was grinning and he had a plate covered with tinfoil in his hands, his smile dropped as soon as he saw the gun in Alex’s hand.

‘Oh.’ He tilted his head. ‘Is this a bad time?’ What kind of question was that?

‘I thought you had to work?’ Alex asked, pushing the door open further to let Kyle in. He couldn’t help but let his eyes do a quick scan of the area before he closed the door and locked it.

‘Yeah, I got send home though, they said they didn’t need me tonight.’ Kyle shrugged. Alex raised his eyebrows but accepted it.

He was trying to decide how to get back to the couch when Kyle put the plate down on the kitchen counter and walked back towards Alex. He stepped into Alex’s space and put the arm holding the gun over his shoulder. Alex rolled his eyes, but let Kyle be his second crutch as he headed back to the couch. He even made sure to take the crutch Alex wasn’t using.

Alex didn’t like relying on anyone, not even Kyle, but doing the whole spiel he’d done to get to the door again was just too much of a pain.

‘Wine?’ Kyle asked, the disbelieve clear in his voice.

‘It was a gift from Isobel, I figured I should drink it at some point.’ Alex shrugged, dropping back on the couch.

‘Can I?’ Kyle asked, and Alex waved his hand at him.

‘Sure, there’s more in the fridge if you want.’

‘Should I heat up these tamales?’ Alex snapped his head towards Kyle.

‘You’ve got _tamales_ under that?’ He pressed. ‘Why didn’t you open with that?’ Kyle laughed.

‘Green Chile and cheese, baby.’ He smirked as he headed to Alex’s kitchen. He could hear the aluminium foil being taken off the plate and his microwave being opened.

‘Your mom’s tamales are the best.’ Alex said, scooting over so that Kyle would have space on the couch.

‘I know, that’s why I brought them.’

‘You’re the best.’

‘I know.’

  1. **2020 Isobel**



Alex was at the sink, doing the dishes. There was something lovely and repetitive about doing the action by hand. Something nice and calming about the warm water on his hands and how he was making things clean. Washing away any reminders off the food he’d eaten, with only his dog for company and his TV playing The Grinch, the 2000 version, of course. He just put the last of the plates in the rack when his phone started ringing.

‘Shit.’ He cursed. His hands were still wet and covered in suds. He quickly grabbed a towel and headed over to the couch where his phone was. He managed to grab it and swipe to answer just before it would have gone to voicemail. He fumbled with it a little before managing to put it to his ear. ‘Yeah?’ He managed.

‘Alex, I’m guessing you’re miserable and alone, right?’

‘Hello to you too Isobel, merry Christmas.’ Alex sighed. She sighed dramatically and groaned.

‘Hello Alex, merry Christmas.’ She said in that overly cheerful, fake-voice she used on all of the ladies at her yoga class. ‘Now, you are alone and miserable, yes?’

‘I’m not alone-‘

‘Buddy doesn’t count.’

‘Okay, first of all, you know her name is Buffy, second of all, she definitely counts.’ Alex argued immediately. ‘Also, I was doing the dishes, it’s therapeutic, I like it.’

‘That’s sad.’ Isobel said bluntly. ‘You’re coming over to my house.’ The longer she was talking, the more Alex realized there was something off about her tone.

‘Is.’ He complained. ‘It’s a thirty minute drive into town, it’s already dark.’

‘Alex.’ She replied in a mock-impression of his voice. ‘I don’t care, neither of us is spending Christmas Eve alone. Now get in that stupid SUV and get over here. You can even bring the dog.’ That made Alex frown suspiciously. ‘I even bought beer, asshole, now neither of us wants Michael to drink them, so you’ll have to.’ Ah, he understood now.

‘Fine.’ He sighed, still going for put-out and annoyed. ‘But I’m staying over at your place, I am not driving back.’

‘I have a guest room.’

‘Fine. Thirty minutes.’ Alex confirmed before hanging up.

Alex made quick work of grabbing his keys and wallet and pocketing his phone. He grabbed Buffy’s leash, not that he really needed it, but he liked to be prepared. He also grabbed Buffy’s bed and put that in the car before heading back inside and shoving his toiletries and a change of clothes in a duffle bag. He also brought his crutches.

‘C’mon girl.’ He said to Buffy, who got up from her spot near the fireplace and headed out of the door with him. He ditched the rest of his stuff on the backseat, helped Buffy onto the passenger seat and went back to lock the door before heading off towards town.

It was already dark, and normally, he would have told Isobel that he wasn’t driving to town after dark unless someone was dying, but him and Isobel had gotten closer over the last year. He’d first realized something was wrong with her when she’d shown up at his cabin at 6am, dark circles under her eyes and with shaking hands. She’d begged him to teach her how to defend herself, she’d been on the verge of tears and she’d looked so scared and alone and exhausted and Alex _understood_. So, he’d brought her inside, made her tea and let her fall asleep on his couch for a few hours.

Once she’d woken up, he didn’t mention what happened, he just took her to the little lawn behind the cabin and started teaching her the basics of self-defence. He taught her about meditation and mindfulness and about breathing exercises. He taught her the things his therapist had taught him.

She’d been getting better, slowly and steadily. They’d bonded over the shared experience of being betrayed by someone that was supposed to love them. Her husband, Alex’s father. It wasn’t the same, of course not. As much as Alex’s father was a monster, he’d never mind-controlled Alex (not that he wouldn’t have if he could, but that was a whole other nightmare), nor had he pretended to be a loving father while actually being like a sleeper agent. No, Alex’s father was a terror, but at least he was upfront about it.

Still, he understood her in a way none of the others did.

Plus, their personalities actually matched very well. She could come off as cold and hard and bitchy, and Alex happened to be an expert at that. She was no-nonsense and straightforward and she actually helped him too. She’d sat him down one day and told him to tell her what the deal was with him and Michael. She’d heard his side of the story, and now she wanted Alex’s. She’d made it very clear that she disliked Maria and hated the fact that her brother seemed to _think_ he could be happy with her (Isobel’s words, not his), she said he was pretending to be okay, and Alex was inclined to agree. But Alex wasn’t pathetic, and if Michael wanted to pretend to be happy with Maria, he could go for it. Alex wasn’t going to humour him, he wasn’t going to mope around and pine after a man that clearly didn’t want to be with him. Michael was a grown ass man, and he could do whatever he wanted. He told Isobel as much.

She’d stared at him for a few long, hard seconds. He still remembered every single word she said that day, he couldn’t forget them if he tried.

“You’re a good man, Alex. My brother is being an idiot, a complete, utter idiot. I know he loves you, present tense, but he doesn’t deserve you. Not with the way he’s acting right now and not until he apologizes. I hope you two can figure things out once he gets his head out of his ass, but until then, do not let him walk all over you. Live your life, be happy, have meaningless sex with hot guys (he’d flinched at that, because that was just a weird conversation to have with _anyone_ ) and once he realizes how bad he’s fucked up, let him grovel a little. I know he hurt you, and he needs to realize that. Look out for yourself, Alex. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that _you_ have to look out for you, because no one else is going to do it for you.”

He’d replayed those words more times than he’d like to admit over the last three months, as Michael and Maria’s relationship crashed and burned. It was ugly and even though Alex was staying as far away from it as possible, Kyle and Isobel kept him up to date on what they called TDTIMM (The Disaster That Is Michael and Maria). Alex had rolled his eyes every time, but there was a little vindictive part of him that didn’t mind hearing how Maria accused him of not opening up to her, of how he never listened, always had one foot out of the door, how he was impatient and secretive.

He didn’t enjoy seeing either of them hurt. Despite himself (his better judgement maybe) he still loved both of them, but he’d also been hurt by both of them.

Isobel provided a welcome distraction. She started dragging him to yoga and demanded wine dates and spa trips and Alex? Well, he didn’t really mind spending time with her. She preached self-care too, in a different way that Alex did, but still.

Kyle was the other end. Where Isobel dragged him out into the world, away from his computers, Kyle encouraged him to take time for himself. No working, no people he didn’t really want to see. Kyle gave him books, and movies and encouraged him to actually sit down and pay attention to them. He’d show up at the cabin, drag Alex out of the bunker and cook him meals, he’d text Alex to remind him to drink water and sleep.

Pulling up to Isobel’s place felt familiar now. It was her first Christmas since Noah, well, since the whole Noah disaster, and she couldn’t focus on her then dead, now resurrected, brother.

‘Alright, girl, let’s go cheer up our friend.’ Alex said to Buffy who just tilted her head. Alex huffed out a laugh. He opened the door and he could immediately feel eyes on him. Sure enough, Isobel’s front door opened.

‘Took you long enough.’ She said as Alex let Buffy hop from the car. Alex checked his watch. 35 minutes.

‘It’s dark, Is. Just be glad I even left my house.’

‘That little shack is not a house.’

‘How many more times are we going to have this discussion?’

‘Until you get a real place.’ Isobel said as she approached the car. ‘A place that has hot water for longer than five minutes.’ Alex rolled his eyes. ‘Not everyone takes military showers like you do.’

‘Not everyone can stand under hot water for thirty minutes like you can.’ He argued as she grabbed Buffy’s bed and his crutches, while Alex grabbed his duffle bag. He followed her towards the house, locking the car behind them. She kept moving into the hallway, letting him and Buffy pass so she could lock the door behind them. Alex turned just in time to see the door move and lock on its own, a concentrated look on her face.

‘Ha.’ She said triumphantly as the lock clicked into place.

‘Been practicing?’ Alex asked, even though he knew the answer.

‘Yeah, I’m getting way better at this telekinesis thing.’ Isobel said as she headed into the guestroom. The whole place was on ground level and Alex loved that. Neither he nor Buffy had to deal with stairs. He’d stayed here before, it made Isobel feel safer, while not making her feel like there was someone there to look out for her, even though that’s exactly what he was doing. He had enough issues of his own that she could justify him staying here as _her_ looking out for _him_. He knew she still had nightmares, just like she knew he still had nightmares.

They didn’t talk about them much, but it was nice to have someone that wouldn’t look all scared when you woke up screaming from time to time.

Isobel put his crutches against the side of the bed and put Buffy’s bed down at the foot of it. Alex dropped his bag on the bed, and they headed back into the living room. Buffy had already curled up on the soft, fluffy rug near the couch. Buffy didn’t love Isobel, per se, she didn’t love any of the aliens. It was like she could tell they weren’t quite right, but she mostly reacted to Alex’s feelings, so at the moment, she was most calm around Isobel.

‘Wine?’ Isobel asked as Alex flopped down on the couch. He made a face at her.

‘You told me you bought beer.’ He asked with narrowed eyes. He liked wine, sometimes, but only when he’d be able to deal with the killer hangover the next day. Wine hangovers were a bitch.

‘I did, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t want the superior drink.’ She said, ducking into the fridge. Alex rolled his eyes and grabbed the remote that was on the table. He sat back and folded his good leg over his bad one.

‘No thanks.’ Alex said. As it turned out Isobel was watching Home Alone. She handed him a beer bottle, the cool glass felt nice and familiar in his hands.

‘So, Valenti left you too huh?’ She asked, sitting down on the couch, glass of white wine in hand. Alex snorted.

‘You make it sound like we’re sad, lonely housewives waiting for our husband to come home from sea.’ Alex waved his bottle at her. ‘He’s working.’

‘I know, saving lives, blah, blah, I just want him here.’ Isobel said, taking a big drink from her glass. ‘Max is off being all lovey dovey with Liz and Michael is off god knows where, doing god knows what with god knows who-‘

‘Kim.’

‘What?’ Isobel asked with a frown.

‘He’s off with Kimberly, from the liquor store?’

‘That blonde bitch that asked me if she was going to be seeing me more now that my _husband_ _left_ _me_?’ Alex flinched.

‘Yeah, that one.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘She likes to make small talk.’ Alex said with mild annoyance. ‘I was in there this morning, debating if I was going to get myself some whiskey or something, and she asked me what I was doing for Christmas eve, so me, being as polite as I am,’ Isobel let out a laugh. ‘asked her what she was doing, because I know her family live all the way in Dallas.’

‘And she told you she was going to bang my brother?’ Isobel said with distain on her face.

‘She wasn’t quite that direct, but she told me that she’d been invited to come have some drinks with someone who was also alone, “oh, you might know him, Michael Guerin?”.’ He did a, admittedly, terrible impression of her voice, but it made Isobel laugh, so he’d count that as a win.

‘Oh, I bet your face was priceless.’ She said, folding her legs up onto the couch, settling in. ‘What did you say? “Uh, yes I am _intimately_ familiar with him.”?’ Alex rolled his eyes.

‘No, I’m not that much of an asshole.’ Isobel made a face like she was saying “eh, are you sure?”. ‘I just nodded and smiled politely, and then got the fuck out of there.’

‘Also a good strategy.’ Isobel said with a laugh and she kind of… breathed out. Alex watched her for a second.

‘You okay?’ She sighed and glared at him for a beat, but Alex didn’t waver.

‘Better now that I’m not alone in this place.’ She admitted, waving her hand around the place. ‘How do you deal with the silence?’

‘I got a dog.’ Alex said. ‘But also, TV, music, working myself half to death, which I wouldn’t recommend because it sucks. Making a friend is good though.’ He said, nudging her foot with his. She rolled her eyes, but her smile was kind of pleased.

‘I don’t think I’ve really had a friend before.’ Isobel rolled her glass between her fingers thoughtfully. ‘At least not one I could actually be honest with.’

‘You can be honest with Kyle.’ Alex offered.

‘I like Kyle, you know that, but it’s not the same.’

‘Because you’re sleeping with him?’ Alex asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. Isobel looked unimpressed.

‘That, and he just doesn’t get it like you do.’

‘I’m glad he doesn’t.’ He said, not letting himself overthink it. Besides Kyle, Isobel was his best friend. She was honest with him, so he was honest with her.

‘Me too.’ She agreed.

  1. **2021 Liz/ Rosa**



Being in Albuquerque on his own around the holidays wasn’t exactly fun. Especially because everyone on base was tiptoeing around him. Everyone seemed to know about his father’s “suspicious death” and the rumours that Alex wasn’t reenlisting. It seemed like that had people think he couldn’t hear them whisper behind his back, or that he couldn’t feel their eyes on him.

Not that he wasn’t there to officially let the Air Force know that he wasn’t signing on for another five years. He was. He just didn’t quite get why that had to be done around the holidays like this, or why everyone was so interested in this.

Alex was just tired. Tired of the Air Force looming over him, looking over his shoulder, feeling like he could be pulled away at any time. He didn’t want to leave anymore. Also, they’d pretty much disassembled Project Shepard at this point. It had been a long, annoyingly slow process. One that made Alex feel physically ill on more than one occasion. When he’d spend hours upon hours reading documents all marked with the Manes name, documents about torture, dissecting and just straight up murder. There had been plenty of times, when he was alone in the bunker, that he’d thrown several things at the walls, just because he couldn’t handle it anymore. He’d started keeping tissues there for when the tears in his eyes spilled over.

But it was done now. It was over.

There were no more files to go through, no more servers to break into. It was done, his father was dead, Flint in jail. The other two hadn’t been as involved in the whole thing and caved easily when Alex told them to forget about it.

He hadn’t made plans for his Christmas here. He figured he’d just hole up in the barracks while the others had dinner. Avoid the awkwardness with people he barely knew and had no desire to get to know. Kyle had offered to drive out, but Alex had waved him off. Kyle wasn’t spending enough time with his mom as is, Alex wasn’t about to make him drive 200 miles just to keep Alex company. The holidays didn’t matter to him much anyways.

So, he was heading to the barracks, another exhausting conversation with a higher-up questioning if he was “absolutely certain” he didn’t want to reenlist.

‘Captain?’ Alex stopped walking and pushed down the sigh threatening to spill from his lips.

‘Yes?’ He asked, turning around to see a young guy standing there, wringing his hands. He looked maybe twenty.

‘Um, sorry to disturb, Captain, but there’s two women here? They say that they know you?’ Alex frowned at the young man’s nervous words. The kid was blushing and it took Alex a second to figure out why. He rolled his eyes.

‘Do they have names?’

‘Uh, Ortecho?’ Alex blinked in surprise.

‘Oh, okay. Yeah I do know them.’ Alex stepped closer, the kid looked confused. ‘Can you take me to them?’

‘Oh, yes of course Captain.’

The young Airman lead him to the entrance where Liz and Rosa were standing, looking both annoyed and amused at the same time. Rosa looked like Liz had forced her into a Christmas sweater, it made Alex smile involuntarily.

‘There he is.’ Liz said with a grin, waving at him.

‘Finally.’ Rosa muttered. Liz elbowed Rosa as she stepped forward to hug Alex.

‘Hi Liz.’ Alex let her hug him tight. She’d been holding onto him much tighter ever since they got closer again. ‘Rosa.’ Alex said with a smirk before pulling her into a hug too. She huffed, but hugged him back equally as tight, albeit with one arm.

‘Hey asshole.’ Rosa smelled like gingerbread cookies, it gave him a pretty good idea what was under that aluminium covered plate Rosa was carrying.

‘Hey zombie.’ He threw back at her.

‘We brought cookies.’ Liz said, taking the plate from Rosa’s hand and holding it out to him.

‘I smell them, awesome.’ Alex found his mood on the ups immediately. Despite their little rough patch during and after the Michael/Maria debacle, him and Liz were still close. Also, despite Rosa’s ten year absence, Alex had always liked her and looked up to her. Now, the age difference was a little weird, but they still got along like wildfire. Alex had updated Rosa on all the music she’d missed over the last ten years, and they’d bonded over it immediately.

It was nice, because Rosa had been the one to tell him and Liz to get their heads out of their asses and just hash out their issues already. Which they had. Alex had actually spoken out loud, that her dismissal of his feelings had hurt him and it felt… terrifying and strangely satisfying. They’d rebuild their friendship slowly but surely after that. Him and Maria were still working on it.

As his friendship with Kyle proved, at a certain point, Alex got tired of holding a grudge and he just let it go. Things with Maria were still strained, and he hated that it had happened that way, but Alex decided that at some point, he had to stand up and draw a line. Her starting a relationship with Michael had been it for him. A step too far, and she realized it too.

Liz had been trying to pull them back together, but Alex was nothing if not a little stubborn and as much as he wanted to cave and forgive and forget, in this case he didn’t want to reach out too quickly. He wanted them to take their time.

Instead of eating alone on his bed, Alex ended up on his bed with Liz and Rosa, eating cookies and drinking the sodas Alex’s bunkmate had stashed under his bed. He’d regret this later, the crumbs would be a nightmare, but he really enjoyed not being alone. He enjoyed Rosa’s sharp humour and Liz’s bright laughs, he liked having them around. He liked having friends around. Christmas had never been something he’d enjoyed, holidays weren’t something to enjoy in the Manes house, but over the last few years, he’d learned that with the right people he could actually enjoy them.

It was a surprising, but welcome conclusion.

  1. **2022 Maria**



That year he figured he was going to be alone until the day before Christmas, when Maria called and told him he was coming over for dinner. They were better now, much better and Alex didn’t really want to be alone anyways. It was fun to be with different friends, friendmas?, during the holidays. Isobel had invited him over to spend the holidays with her, Max (Liz, Rosa) and Michael, but something had flipped in his stomach at that. Maybe it wasn’t exactly a bad flip anymore, but it was still a flip, and Alex didn’t want to spend an entire dinner looking at Michael in candlelight. That sounded like torture.

And Alex was not in the habit of torturing himself anymore.

So instead he went to have dinner with his former best friend, turned not friend, turned tentative friend.

‘So, you turned Isobel down too, huh?’ Maria asked after pointing Alex to his chair.

‘Too?’ Alex asked, taking a deep breath to let himself soak in the familiar smell of the DeLuca home. ‘She invited you?’

‘Well, she more or less told me she wouldn’t turn me away if I showed up, but that was the extent of the invitation.’ Maria said, sitting down in her own chair.

‘Well, to be honest, it’s-‘

‘Progress? Yeah I know.’ Maria said with a shrug. ‘Still, I was kind of expecting you to go and be with Michael.’

‘I swear, this is the last time I’m telling you this. Michael and I are _friends_ , that’s it.’ It was weird having conversations like this with her, but Liz was too wrapped up in Max, Isobel had sworn off relationships (and all talk thereof) for at least another year and Kyle tried but he just didn’t get it.

‘For now.’ Maria said with a tilt of her head. ‘Look, everyone knows you two are just waiting for something, no one knows what, before getting together for real this time.’ Maria picked up the wine bottle and poured some in Alex’s glass. ‘What _are_ you waiting for?’ If you had told him two years ago that he’d be having Christmas dinner with Maria while she encouraged him to get together with Michael, he’d have laughed in your face.

‘I don’t know. Devine intervention?’ He tried to joke, brush it off. She looked at him stoically. ‘The other shoe?’ Alex offered and Maria sighed.

‘Baby.’

‘I know okay.’ Alex whined. ‘I know, it’s stupid. I’m in the best place I’ve been in- well probably forever, Michael is better than he’s been since high school. We actually know each other now, we’re friends, there’s been no alien bs for _ages_ , but I just can’t- I can’t.’

He felt a flash of annoyance at himself for the emotions he was letting cloud his mind. Enough. He was here for dinner, not therapy.

‘Alex, it’s okay.’

‘What?’

‘It’s okay to need time. Look, I know we don’t really talk about this, but I know what it’s like. I know how overwhelming it can be to be with and around Michael. He’s all go, all intensity and you’re scared that if you let him close like that again, you’ll get overwhelmed, you’ll panic and run.’

‘I thought the physic stuff was all bullshit?’ Alex asked with a wry smile.

‘It is,’ Maria said. ‘but you’re my friend, and I know you. I see the way you look at him and I see the way he looks at you. I didn’t want to see it back then, but I see it now.’ She sighed, reaching out for his hand. ‘I fooled myself into thinking I could be with him like that. I was stupid and I willingly ignored all the signs. I ignored your feelings, I ignored that he was broken and in no place to be with anyone, because I wanted him to love me like he loves you, but he never would have, because what you two have is-‘

‘Cosmic?’ Alex offered, annoyed at the tears in his eyes. ‘His words, not mine.’ Maria smiled kindly at him.

‘I know I screwed up-‘

‘So did I-‘

‘No, stop.’ Maria held up the hand not holding his. ‘I know I screwed up, and I know we’ll never be as close as we were before, but I want to be able to call you again, just because. I want you to feel comfortable talking to me about Michael and I want to be able to tell you about that really hot lawyer that came through town the other day.’

‘Hold on, hot lawyer?’ Alex grinned. ‘You could totally have called me for that. there’s a serious lack of male eye candy in this town. Kyle is nice to look at, and so is Michael, but the rest of them are kind of eh.’ Maria laughed, warm and bright.

‘Max is not your type?’

‘Nah, a little plain for my tastes.’ Alex shrugged. ‘The ladies in this town are all amazing of course, but sadly that doesn’t do it for me.’

‘Oh _I know_. I mean, Isobel may be a bitch, but I’d climb her like a tree. Oh, and Jenna-‘ Maria fanned herself with a napkin, making Alex laugh.

‘Isobel is not that bad once you get to know her.’

‘Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re all buddy, buddy with her now.’ Maria rolled her eyes. ‘You switched sides to the aliens, I get it.’

‘ _Okay_.’ Alex said with maybe the bitchiest head-swivel he’d ever done. ‘I’ll have you know Kyle is still my best friend, or is that again? Either way, Kyle is my best friend and he’s perfectly human.’

‘Fine, but she’s totally your second best friend.’

‘Probably.’ Alex admitted. ‘We understand each other.’ Maria groaned like he was making her down a bottle of tequila.

‘Ugh, now you’re going to make me invite her to the Wild Pony New Year’s Eve Spectacular, aren’t you?’

‘It would make me very happy to have you reach out?’ Alex said with a wide grin.

‘Fine.’

  1. **2023 Michael**



This whole year had fucking sucked. Alien invasion. Alex wasn’t even going to say more, except that it fucking sucked and he was glad it was over and that everyone was still alive, somehow. All he wanted for Christmas was for everyone to leave him alone. He had a headache, his leg protested with every step he took and he could feel the scratch in the back of this throat that signalled a cold coming on.

He just wanted this year to be over already. He knew things had been too quiet last year, things had been too good. He’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop and instead it had been a boot stomping down on all of their combined happiness.

They’d used more tissues and broken more mugs than they usually did in five years. It was all a giant mess, but it was done now and Alex was ready to sit on his couch and do nothing, not smile encouragingly at anyone, not reassure anyone, just him and his dog, eating cold pizza and wallow a little.

So that’s what he was doing.

The TV was showing a crackling fireplace, mostly because Alex was too lazy and too achy to light his own fireplace. He had started reading the thriller Isobel had gotten him, she’d handed it to him with a smirk. Now that he started, he realized why. It was about a guy living alone in his cabin in the woods, getting stalked and murdered. Typical Isobel.

He wasn’t on edge because of the book. He totally wasn’t.

The car pulling up to his cabin just startled him because he wasn’t expecting it. And sure, maybe the only reason he didn’t reach for a gun was because Buffy didn’t alert. She just lifted her head and watched the door.

Alex waited as footsteps hurried up his porch to the front door.

Two knocks.

‘Alex?’ Alex blinked at the door.

‘Michael?’

‘Hey, can I come in?’ Michael asked, he sounded like he was in a hurry. Alex swore, if there was another emergency he was going to hide in the freaking bunker.

‘Yeah, of course.’ Alex said and Michael used his telekinesis to unlock the door. Alex had better locks installed about three months ago, but they still couldn’t keep Michael out. Not that he wanted to.

‘Hey.’ Michael said, sounding a little out of breath, like he’d been running. He closed the door behind himself and locked it again.

‘Wait, weren’t you supposed to have dinner with Isobel?’ Alex asked, twisting on the couch as Michael stayed standing near the door. Uncharacteristically uncomfortable in Alex’s space.

‘Uh yeah, I left.’ Alex blinked at him, surprised.

‘She was really excited about it, what happened?’ Alex asked as Michael wrung his hands together. He looked frazzled, but his jeans were nice and dark and actually clean.

‘I uh, well, she made me leave.’ Alex frowned, he was really confused at this point. He’d talked to Isobel yesterday to confirm he was not leaving his cabin today. She’d sighed and complained he was leaving her to take care of Michael on her own.

The two of them were closer than ever, so it was all an attempt to get Alex to come to her dinner. Also, Michael had his shit together now. Even through the last, insane year, he’d kept his cool. Barely reached for the acetone, even when shit got hard. He stopped sleeping around, showered, cut his hair, buttoned his shirts properly (sometimes). He acted like a fully functioning adult.

‘Why?’

‘She, uh, said I was moping.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you weren’t there.’ Michael said, tense and unsure. ‘I missed you. So Is told me to go to you, but now I’m here and I don’t really know…’

‘You missed me.’ Alex stated, just checking if he heard that right. Him and Michael were good these days, better than they’d ever been. Close. Friends. _Good_ friends, but they didn’t say stuff like this to each other.

‘Yeah, I missed you.’ Michael said, stepping closer to the couch. Alex felt like he should have gotten up, but his prosthetic was off and he really didn’t want to. So he patted the seat next to him. Michael flopped down next to him in a rushed move. ‘I miss you all the time.’

Alex took a second to process that and Michael let him.

‘I miss you too.’ Alex decided on. ‘All the time.’ They’d gotten much better at the talking thing too. Michael gave Alex time when he needed it and Alex tried to make sure to say exactly what he meant, no half-admissions.

‘Why are we not- why aren’t we- why- ugh- I’m usually better at this.’ Michael mumbled to himself. Alex raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile too much.

‘Slow it down, Michael.’ Alex said and Michael took a deep breath.

‘Why are we just friends again?’ He asked, and Alex’s heart skipped a beat at the look on his face.

‘We were getting to know each other, and then shit happened with the alien invasion and shit got way weird,’ Alex shrugged. ‘and now we’re here.’

‘I don’t want to be just friends anymore.’ Michael said, on the edge of desperate.

‘Me neither.’ Alex said easily. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about it, more than once as they spend the last year running from dangerous situation into life-threatening situation, but he didn’t want to rush into things with Michael anymore. He didn’t want to start something because they felt like they had to. Now things were not like that anymore.

‘What are we waiting for?’ Michael asked, smile replacing his desperation after Alex’s easy answer.

‘Maybe I’m waiting for you to ask me on a date?’ Alex offered.

‘Go on a date with me, _please_?’ Alex found himself grinning. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to stop grinning and fake a serious expression.

‘If you take me to The Wild Pony I’m breaking up with you.’ He knew he failed when Michael looked at him, all charm and that sexy, lazy smirk Alex loved much more than he’d ever admit.

‘I’ll drive you to Santa Fe if you want me to.’ Michael said and Alex didn’t doubt he would.

‘The Crashdown would be good too.’ He offered and Michael seemed relieved.

‘Oh thank god.’

Alex laughed, he picked up the remote and clicked out of the fireplace screen.

‘Home Alone?’ He asked and Michael made a delighted noise.

‘Yes. Popcorn?’ Alex motioned for the cabinet in the kitchen. ‘Awesome, I’ll make some, you get the movie ready.’

Alex was thrilled beyond belief to realize that this was _easy_. Being with Michael like this was easy, and that’s all he ever wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Comments make me squeal with delight!


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